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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111239">Late Night Thoughts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Freeform, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Intrusive Thoughts, Roman's mentioned but background, adhd creativitwins, rsd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:40:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is working through some stuff. It hurts, and it'll be okay in the end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Late Night Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus is laughing. Something he found funny, and eventually (inevitably, maybe?) his laughter turns to crying. He <em> knows </em> his emotions are heightened, he's exhausted, and tired, and other things, but he also knows that none of that makes his feelings any less real. He's <em> lonely </em> , and his brother makes him <em> lonely </em>, and <em> sad </em>, when Remus tries to talk to him, to connect with his twin, about the things that make Remus happy, Roman is (rightfully) disgusted, and that breaks Remus's heart. He couldn't care less about whatever his brother's newest hyperfixations are, Disney, or songwriting, or any of the myriad happy, sparkly, normal things Roman likes. But they're what his <em> brother </em> likes. And Remus loves his brother more than anything. So he listens to Roman talk, and asks questions, just to see his brother's eyes light up, and attends every recital, and <em> cares </em> . And he knows the best way to let Roman know that Remus wants the same interest, even if it's feigned, is to tell Roman. But Remus is <em> scared </em> . Remus puts himself out into the world authentically, the only way he knows how to be, the only way he wants to be, and the world seems to hate him for it. Logically, Remus knows that he has his brother, his friends, who love him unconditionally, and they don't treat him unconditionally when he tells them a weird (gross) science fact, or impulsively acts on one of a million urges running through his mind. What Remus likes, and what Remus does (and maybe what Remus is?) is off-putting at best, and abhorrent at worst, to the general population, and sometimes Remus himself. But he'd like for Roman to maybe ask a question, or at least not make a face when Remus shows off a new art project. Remus suddenly shifts into laughing for a moment because he is so tired and metacognizance is <em> funny </em> . And then he's crying for a few minutes more. And he falls asleep not long after, and when Roman comes in, he'll wrap a blanket around his strange little brother, and in the morning, Remus will tell Roman how he feels, and Roman will listen, not interrupting, until Remus has talked through his tangle of emotions, and Roman will promise he'll try.</p>
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